He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
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