Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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