your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize