If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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