I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
