Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
