He kissed a someone with a penis
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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