note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
