I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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