Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize