Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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