well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
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