Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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