No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Two words: nipple clamps
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