we're blogging at a bar
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
