There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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