did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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