Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
