My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
