About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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