waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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