Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
