I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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