i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
