I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
