Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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