And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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