I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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