That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
