ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
and eventually we just all took our pants off
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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