he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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