two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
