im having a threesome with these popsicles
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
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