I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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