I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I think people are normalizing furries
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
