yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
