Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
