Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
wow bdsm is so cute
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
