we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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