Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
