its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
