If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
