the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
