Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
