Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
