marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
