Are we in a gay sports bar?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
