i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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