just tell him i said nine months
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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