Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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