Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
All the doctor said was why
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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