Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
