I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
