on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
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