They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
