White coat. Heels.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
