guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
