I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
