Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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