Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
people are starting to question the shark bite story
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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