another moral hangover. fuck.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
